Saturday, January 30, 2010

How to protect your passwords

No one can see your passwords or whatever you're typing

 

No one can see whatever you're typing or which website you're surfing


  

And the Ultimate Password's Protection System is ...

Funny ads

 



Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Do you need glasses?

Look carefully at the picture below:



Do you see the girl's butt?


Sunday, January 24, 2010

The sexiest butt ever

The sexiest butt on the planet for the year 2010

Forget about Kim Kardeshian    


Forget about J. Lo 



Barbati vs Femei

Cum face baie femeia


1. Scoate hainele si le pune in cosul de haine, desparte hainele albe de cele colorate.
    2. Pune halatul si se duce la baie.
    3. Se uita-n oglinda sa vada daca s-a ingrasat, intra in cada.....
    4. Cauta buretele, se freaca cu el pe fatza, pe spate si pe maini.
    5. Se clateste pe cap cu un sampon de miere cu mere cu  83 de vitamine si se clateste bine.
    6. Tzipa ca o lupoaica atunci cand sotul deschide apa rece la  bucatarie si presiunea scade la robinetul din baie.
    7. Mai clabuceste o data parul cu un sampon de piersici cu morcovi, 56 de vitamine si se clateste bine..
    8. Pune conditioner de plante si-l tine 10 minute.
    9. Spala fatza cu apa de fatza pe baza de grapefruit si castraveti timp de 10 minute.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Lesbians

    The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday. I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex. It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch."

Prayer

Dear God,

So far this year you have taken away my favorite dancer Michael Jackson, my favorite actor Patrick Swayze and my favorite singer Stephen Gately and my favorite actress Farah Fawcett.
Just so you know, my favorite politician is Mircea Geoana.

Regards.

Jurnalul lui Emil Boc

Ora 7:00 -Suna ceasul.Cobor pe scaunelul de langa pat , apoi de pe scaunel sar jos. Am uitat sa opresc alarma.Ma urc pe scaunel, de pe scaunel in pat, de pe pat pe noptiera si opresc ceasul. Vreau sa sar de pe noptiera, dar cand ma uit in jos ametesc. Cobor exact cum am urcat.
Ora 7:15 -Ma duc la baie. Nu ma barbieresc nici azi ca nu ajung la oglinda.
Ora 7:30 -Ma urc pe calorifer si ma uit pe geam.Astazi nu ploua. Ma bucur enorm.Si asa nu ajungeam sa iau umbrela de pe cuier.
Incep sa ma imbrac.Imi pun bretele la pantalonii de costum fiindca iar nu imi gasesc cureaua de la ceas.Imi pun papionul. Nu mai port cravata fiindca ieri era sa cad pentru ca am calcat pe ea.

Ora 7:45 -Suna cineva la usa . E SPP -istul. Nu i-am vazut fata pentru ca nu ma pot uita pe vizor. Ma uit pe gaura cheii si il recunosc dupa ceas.
Ora 8:00 -Plec de acasa. Ajung din bratzele SPP-istului in masina.Astazi stau in spate. Ieri am stat in fata si mi-au ramas urme pe obraz de la centura.
SPP-istul conduce. Eu nu conduc pentru ca nu pot sa apas pe pedale, si sa ma uit peste volan in acelasi timp.

Ora 8:30 -Ajung in fata guvernului.Sar din masina si trec strada.Cad intr-o groapa de pe sosea.Il sun pe Berceanu sa vina sa ma scoata. Daca nu era el, nu era nici groapa asta.Daca ma mai enerveaza odata il demit. Inca nu am uitat ca la inaugurarea autostrazii Turda-Gilau, cand a vrut sa taie panglica mi-a taiat motzul. 

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Businessman in Miami

    A businessman walks into a bank in Miami and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $9,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.
   So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
   Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $9,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.24. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $9,000?"
The businessman replied, "Where else in Miami can I park my car for two weeks for $20 bucks?"

Monday, January 18, 2010

American Gulf War

The U.S. army is always prepared for a new strike




... but the talibans are quite friendly  :)



Avatar: The Movie

The new extended Avatar trailer

Free torrents list

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Friday, January 15, 2010

Shii gaming console

I'm the lucky owner of a Nintendo Wii gaming console.

I've just found that there is also a version of this console for women - Shii. It looks pretty cool :))

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Counterfeit Coin/Marble Problem

You have 12 marbles, one of them is either heavier or lighter than the rest. In three weighs on a balance scale, you must determine which is the odd marble. How do you do this?


Best friends

 
 
 
A dog's not just a man's best friend, he's an orangutan's too.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Chinese story

Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate
To the United States.In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their
names To American standards:
Chu became Chuck
Bu became Buck
Hu became Huck.
Fu and Su decided to stay in China

Monday, January 11, 2010

Funny Tech Support Issues

So you think you're computer-illiterate? Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton --
 
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Fashion - spring /summer trend


 


Big smile



 
The good thing about working here - If you need assistance smiling, there's always help!

Friday, January 8, 2010

The best "out of office" messages

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.*
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Lucille" instead of Steve

Mind game - the four squares problem



The target is to reposition two - and only two -  sticks, so that you end up with four squares of equal size and no sticks left over. Good luck!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Touchdown! :)